Thursday, May 24, 2007

Letting Go

If my blogger Icon, Darkie, the traumatized baby kitty, who was a cantankerous cat most of his life, but learned how to love and be loved before it was all over, survives the night I will be surprised.

His time has come to let go of the bonds to this earthly plane. After dinner he wandered out on the lawn in circles confused. Much more confused. I spent quite a bit of time sitting on the lawn with him. He kept circling back to be scratched behind the ear and get a few rubs, then he circled off again. This is The Circle.

At dusk I brought him inside and he kept getting stuck in corners. He may have gone blind.

I sat with him again inside on the living room floor next to the rolled up futon mattress he has been sleeping on for the last few days. His head cupped in my palm, I managed to get him to go to sleep, to be still. In the hour he spent circling I got the feeling that he knew when he laid down he was not going to get up again. I told him it was ok to let go.

His "appointment" is next week. I don't know if I can watch this for another six days. I hope he passes tonight in his sleep or I may have to move his "appointment" up.

The universe has been making this whole transition flow with an incredible sense of ease. Every sign points in a new direction. The path is constantly cleared of all obstacles.

It is time to let go.

But there are another six days before Tropical Embellishments is unplugged and many a day before I come to rest Outside Clyde.


Layanee said...

Bittersweet post! 'Letting Go' is one of the hardest things to do in life!

Xris said...

Thinking of you. Our cat, Spot, is also a senior. She's been to the vet several times in the past two months. She's stable now, down to one medication. We think she has a few years left in her, but you never know.

Will that be the name of your next blog, "Outside Clyde"? If that refers to the town, my parents live about an hour from there. I hope there's a chance for us to meet when I visit them sometime later this year.

Peace - Xris

Christopher C. in Hawaii said...

Darkie has survived to greet a new day. I guess like his father he has a flair for the dramatic and is not opposed to putting on a major production for the grand finale.

I have claimed the blog address "Outside Clyde" as a most likely choice for the reinvention. It sounds right. Yes that is the nearest town to my mountain retreat. It would be nice to meet you in person Xris.

Annie in Austin said...

The ups and downs in your companions' physical condition is probably pretty hard on all of you right now. I hope you won't need the appointment.

Clyde Outside is a cool name, and I look forward to reading about your new life. Lately I've seen posts about various garden bloggers visiting in person, like Genie the Inadvertent Gardener going to Trey's Golden Gecko Nursery.

So I hope Xris gets to North Carolina, Christopher.

Annie at the Transplantable Rose

The County Clerk said...

Oh... Christopher... just keep making decisions the way you always make them... and just keep worrying about what you always worry about... and you will make the right choices.

I am so sorry to learn what I've learned tonight.

Keep your head. You have an adventure to adventure.

Pam said...

Oh, watching our pets (I actually hate that word - it's demeaning) - watching our cats and dogs and whatever during their last days is painful. It's good that appointments can be made, but it isn't easy, either way.

Christopher C. in Hawaii said...

I check Darkie every time I see him to be sure he is still breathing. I read your post on the Ancient Wonder Beagle. It is distressing and amazing at the same time, this process of lingering. I looked at him last night and just thought in the wild this would not go on this long. We humans have such an impact on nature.