Thursday, April 27, 2006

Comparing Hazel to a Doorknob

Since our last encounter in the middle of the night over three weeks ago I have discovered that Hazel the Hairy Cane Spider has been living on my bathroom door. More specifically she seems to be hanging out on the Maui Marine Art Expo poster that covers the electrical fuse box, I hope, because the back of the door where I hang my towel to dry matches up perfectly with that poster.

The lady is a real poseur. I know she can see me with those eight eyes of hers that reflect the light and glow back at me. When caught she doesn't move a muscle and sits there with her eight hairy legs spread wide, daring me it seems to come closer. Not in the least bit camera shy, I took eight flash photos and she posed, a Model Spider.

I can imagine that she is competing with the geckos for the abundant food supply that exists in a house where yes, that pretty much is a barn door. I leave it open way too much. Only when my friend, the mosquito magnet visits do I think much about closing the door. I can also imagine Hazel making a meal of the tiny baby geckos when they are freshly hatched. One quick pounce and baby lizard is on the menu. Slurp.

Hazel is starting to creep me out just a bit. I can't dry off after a shower in peace and have to reach gingerly for the towel and then give it a vigorous shake just in case. It may be time for her to move on along. I'll have to find that old Big Gulp cup in the kitchen cabinet and a stiff piece of thin cardboard. Hazel has travel plans in her future.

I have a feeling she has molted and put on a new dress since are last photo shoot. Hazel is either an excellent poseur or she has grown substantially. When the Spider living in your bathroom is getting bigger it may be a sign that it is time to clean it. Before the company gets here in six days.

UPDATE: Sunday, April 30, 2006
Hazel must have sensed it was time. There has been a cleaning frenzy today with furniture moving and a kitchen and bath leaking faucet replacements. I found Hazel curled into a corner of the top of the sliding glass door frame that opens onto the front deck. She is lucky she didn't get sucked into the vacuum. I picked up the sharpened wooden stake that I keep outside by the door (similar in intent to the function of gargoyles on building facades) and she very reluctantly moved outside as I prodded her with the stake. She didn't go very far. I wonder if she has been using the cat door all along?


christin m p in massachusetts said...

I hope your guest doesn't have arachnophobia... That spider is huge.

By the way, did you have any luck with finding that "emergency cleaning service"?

Christopher C. in Hawaii said...

The Emergency looms larger and the service is going to have to be me this weekend and all day Monday. Is there some Freudian bent perhaps to the arachnid's nom de plume?

Curse you mother for your guest cleaning ways.

christin m p in massachusetts said...

Since I did residential cleaning as a second job off and on over the years, I was tempted to offer you a list of all the quickest, easiest ways to do it, but I didn't want to be a drone.

And regarding your choice of name for your pet spider... In all my innocence, I thought the name had something to do with the color. BTW, Hazel is my paternal grandmother's name (she was of 100% English descent, and so was my grandfather whose middle name was Ebenezer).

Something Freudian -- Hmmm...
I had wondered how you could tell that the spider is female, though. Since she's constantly hanging around close to where you take your shower, I've been thinking that she must see something very interesting there;)) Lucky spider.

And if that's too bawdy even for your taste, go ahead and delete. Like I've said to you before... there are worse things in life.

Christopher C. in Hawaii said...

The name Hazel to me is from the 50's sitcom about the maid of that name. Hazel went with Hairy well.

She's a she because she is so big and that's the way it is in the world of spiders. If I see her carring around an egg purse I'm really gonna freak.

A Spider voyeur, that's the most action and interest anything has given me in ages.

christin m p in massachusetts said...

Oops, so sorry. This time you were thinking clean (please pardon the pun). For some reason, whenever someone mentions Freud, my mind ends up right in the gutter.

christin m p in massachusetts said...

When you mentioned the cat door, that reminded me -- How's GreyMan doing these days? I don't think you've written anything about him since The Hideous Plastic House.

And are you almost done with the emergency cleaning? Only three days to go...

Christopher C. in Hawaii said...

Greyman is doing very well for a fifteen year old cat with a cataract in one eye, heart murmur, daily seizures that look like full body cramps and a shrinking territory from the feral cat colony two doors down. Bossy as ever.

whistlestop caboose said...

Suggestion: you buy "Charlotte's Web" to keep Hazel busy (spiders are very smart, and good readers and even better at writing) so she keeps her head down and stays busy while your guests are in town.

As for the guests, one solution is always to set the mop, dustrag, vacuum, etc. next to the front door, or even accidentally in front of the front door and exclaim "I was just about to get ready for your visit when xxx [fill in the blanks with some drama]." You'll have a lot to discuss while they help you clean.